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Your Checklist May Killing Your Dating Life and What to Do About It

dating checklist

While it’s normal to have standards and preferences, rigidly adhering to a dating checklist can limit your dating options, set unrealistic expectations, and hinder your love life. 

The Pitfalls of a Dating Checklist

Narrowing Your Options

One of the most significant downsides of a strict dating checklist is that it can severely limit your dating pool. Mr. Right could literally be right there and you will miss him because he is not 6 feet tall with green eyes and blond hair. You might miss out on meeting great men who don’t fit all those specific things you’re looking for but would still be a good match for you.

Unrealistic Expectations

Having a long list of must-haves can lead you to expect way too much from someone. Nobody’s perfect and insisting on finding someone who ticks every box can make you unhappy in the end. Your perfect match might not match all your criteria, but they could still be an incredible person who challenges you to grow and be your best self.

Stifling Authentic Connection

Relying on a checklist can make dating feel like an interview or a checklist of requirements to meet (what’s the fun in that?). Having a mental checklist of what your perfect man is supposed to be like will stifle genuine connection and prevent you from getting to know people on a deeper, more authentic level.

What to Do Instead

Reflect on Core Values

Instead of fixating on superficial qualities, reflect on your core values and what truly matters to you in a relationship.

Consider qualities like kindness, shared interests, and compatibility in terms of life goals.

Be Open to Surprise

Be open to meeting people who may not meet all your checklist criteria but have the potential to make you happy. Sometimes, the most meaningful connections happen when we least expect them.

Communication is Key

Rather than silently checking items off your list, engage in open and honest communication with your date. Discuss your values, aspirations, and expectations to ensure you’re on the same page.

Give Second Chances

If a first date doesn’t check all the boxes, consider giving it a second chance. Sometimes, nerves or initial impressions can cloud the real potential of a budding relationship.

Focus on Personal Growth

While searching for the perfect partner is essential, don’t forget to invest in personal growth and self-improvement. Being the best version of yourself will naturally attract more compatible partners. I say this as the time: we attract what we are. Want to find a great man? Become an amazing woman!

It is perfectly fine to have your preferences and standards in men but rigidly adhering to a checklist can hinder your chances of finding true love.

Be open to surprises

Focus on being open to surprises that can enrich your dating experience and increase your chances of finding a meaningful and lasting connection. A man who doesn’t fit your checklist might be even more than what you expected. My husband certainly surprises me all the time with how wonderful of a man he is.

So, toss that checklist aside and let your heart guide you on your journey to love.

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